Heartbreak

Heartbreak is the last thing anyone wishes for. And when it happens to you it's horrible. It hurts inside as well as on the outside (though some of us are EXTREMELY good at fooling others). I recently had a hard break up that not only killed me inside but it hurt worse that after almost five months of me thinking our relationship was going so well, to him there was nothing left. He couldn't hold on, it was too much of a challenge. Its been devastating for me. I have been so strong the last couple of days in front of everyone else who has come around, i have tried so hard not to think about it, but I hurt. I gave away my heart to someone I thought was my best friend. I thought everything was going good, but without me seeing the threads that were being pulled out of our relationship, it was only one sided; my side. I gave up my heart and ended up with nothing left. Yes, its going to take me a long time to heal, but now I know what I need to do the next time I decide to fall.
I know that one day I will find the right guy and that he will love me endlessly. I know that when that day comes I will welcome it with open arms and know that my first heartbreak taught me a lesson that I will never forget. Never fall too quick without a strong foundation in your relationship and never take the one you love for granted because one day he/she may never come back. And it may be too late.

Break Down

This song represents my journey in finding who I am. After being cyber-bullied three times in the last year I did not know exactly who I was. I hated myself for so many things that I could not change and I wondered why me everyday. I finally decided that maybe there weren't things I could change but I knew one thing I could find who I was on the inside. 

I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I knew I could be strong about it. I searched every bit of myself, helped others in ways I could and I spent more time with my family. 

I know my voice probably doesn't sound too good in this, but it's my journey and I would like to share my journey to find myself with all of you.

Thanks for listening!!!!

No Clue What To Do

Inside your head you think I am crazy,

But through out the last couple of years I haven’t been able to let you leave my mind.

It’s scary to think that our love is possibly and officially blind.

I know if I tell you what I feel deep down into my heart,

You may come to know that I am not ready to part.

What I can do about it,

I have no clue,

 But if I were to lose you,

I would forever be blue.

You are my everything,

The one thing I cannot live without.

I am under a spell,

A spell that makes my heart want to start flying about.

I wish you knew that I am not me without you by my side,

But you aren’t ready to let go of her

 And that is reasonable through my eyes.

She doesn’t deserve a man like you

If she cannot see,

The gentleman you have and always will be.

Everyday I’ll wait for you

Until you really see,

That I am right here waiting for you to come towards me.

I wish you literally understood,

How I truly feel.

But my feelings for you will never come true     

Until I tell them to you.

Why Explain?

What is wrong with people these days? Isn't it enough that I have been cyber-bullied twice now. What are you trying to accomplish by hacking someone else's  profile and posting things that are inappropriate and outrageously rude? You are only accomplishing the fact that you hurt someone and possibly ruined their image at school, home, church, basically everywhere. Thanks for that( Not ). I may not be the kind of person to say something about what you just did, but you just crushed the one thing that helped keep my life together. That's right my heart. Now next time why don't you choose the right thing to do, instead of choosing to ruin someone else's reputation and their life. Get your act together and stop acting foolish. Get it! Got it! Good! Cause I'm done trying to explain it to someone with your kind of ignorance.

School Newspaper Story

Well I submitted my cyber-bully story to our school newspaper and the staff really enjoyed it (I hope that's just what Mr. Peacock stated, not sure if its true). But I'd like to share my submission with you all. I did take parts of my blog and put them in there. Yes some changes have been made to them and they are shortened, but it is a very good story. Please read it and tell me what you think.

Cyber-bullying: My Story

By Sydney Lee

I am a sixteen-year-old girl in high school and I am a victim of cyber-bullying. Cyber-bullying is the act of abusing another through the use of web-related sources or communication. These sources include social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Blogs, etc. No matter where you go there will always be bullies who will take advantage of these websites. It is said to be one of the major issues facing the world today.

In a poll done by Ipsos, it has been said that twelve percent of the worldwide teen population have experienced cyber-bullying in their lives. Nearly one in ten children have experienced it around the world. Statistics today state that bullying victims are two to nine times more likely to commit suicide or attempt it than those who don’t experience bullying. Twenty-five percent of kids don’t tell anyone about being bullied. Kids who are overweight or obese are sixty-three percent more likely to be bulling. In the end, thirty-nine percent of all social network users experience cyber-bullying at least once in their lifetime.

It’s been a little over a year since I was first in this situation and I personally know how most of these teens feel. You never assume the worst of things unless this has happened to you. I started assuming it was my fault or I put myself in that situation and I had no way out. Now I know that isn’t true. There is always a way out and suicide is never the answer.

After sophomore year started last August, I began to blog about world related issues we see today. I never try to comment negatively on them. I try to touch positively so I can help others who are affected by them. I hope that as you read this you will be able to see a way out if you are ever in a situation like this one.

My Cyber-bully Review blogged March 2, 2012

Today in time cyber-bullying has become a problem in society. It tears down elementary students, teens and sometimes-even adults. The effects are very crucial for everyone. I know that when it happens to us we don’t know what to do, who to talk to, or where we can go. Talk to a friend, a parent, and/or someone you trust. If it’s a text, email, whatever, save the evidence and don’t reply back to whoever sent it. Report and block the person, get off the website or change your profile (meaning get a new one) and don’t let them keep getting to you.

I’m not just saying this because it’s going on around the world, but because I have been through it myself. But hiding behind it isn’t what makes you who you are striving to be, for me its letting go (as in not letting it get to me, even when I wanted it to) and working around it. People don’t see your potential and they won’t until you have reached to higher places. Strive to be the better person you know you are and who you can become. Take the chance to live freely, not hide. Move around, change lives, become great, even successful and just live! Motivate change! Do things that lift you up, not tear you down. Do what you love, not what makes you unhappy.

Right after my first experience, I wasn’t a happy high schooler. I may have looked like one on the outside, but on the inside I was miserable. I always doubted the good things I did, I slumped over when I walked, and I hid behind my clothes. I layered myself in misery instead of self-confidence. But for me suicide was never the answer to get rid of it. 

Cyber-bullying From My Experience blogged July 20, 2012

I have been there, on the other side of the screen, humiliated by another, and hurt from the inside out. As a victim of cyber-bullying I have learned that no matter what bullies say, it’s up to you on how well you deal with the situation.

After the first time, I realized it wasn’t my fault it happened. It was their choice, their doing.  I had thought to myself, maybe I had done something that got me into this or I just wasn’t someone’s favorite person. None of that was ever true.

After the second time around, it just wasn’t worth it to care. I may have struggled with my self-esteem and walked with my head down in the school hallways, and though that was who I was for a short period of time, I still had a chance to change who I was. In the end I gave myself a motto.

            “You may say hurtful, deceiving words that may make my heart ache and tears fall from my eyes, but I am strong. I will make it through my life and make something big out of myself.”

            I know that there is someone to comfort us in our times of need. No matter how big or small the situation is. I have learned so much about myself after all I have been through. And I have been able to choose who I want to become in my life. This has helped me to know who I am and hold my head up high when I walk. I know that this was something that I was meant to go through to learn to treat myself with respect and help gain respect from others.

           

            Best thing to tell yourself is it isn’t your fault. Don’t think the worst, it does not help anything. Think positively and stay true to yourself. It’s better that way.

Cyber-bullies: Affecting others and changing lives for the worst blogged August 4, 2012

Cyber-bullies pick on others who are confident in who they are, what they believe in or even just how great their life is going. They think that since life isn’t going well for them that it’s easier to pick on others. By tearing down another individual they can raise their own self-esteem and ruin the self-esteem of another.

            Just like Taylor in the movie Cyber-Bully, it can happen to anyone. If you haven’t seen it, I encourage you to watch it. It has helped me and I hope many others out there who have been in this same situation.

            If you have been cyber-bullied, stand up for who you are. You are someone! You should be treated with respect just like everyone else in this world. It doesn’t matter what you look like or whether you dress like everyone else, you deserve to be treated right. No matter what people think of you, you are human and you’re just like everyone else.

            In the end, no matter what you do in life there will always be someone out there who is struggling in this area. Be courteous in standing up for them. Make the decision to change the problem society and the world have set this out to be. Can you be the one to change the life of another for good? If so motivate change to a higher extent.

Cyberbullies: Affecting Others and Changing Lives For The Worst

Cyberbullies/ Bullies pick on others who are confident in who they are, what they believe in or even just how great their life is going. Bullies think that since their own life isn't going so fantastic, they can pick on others. By tearing down another individual they can raise their own self-esteem and ruin the self-esteem of another.

Just like Taylor, it can happen to anyone.  If you haven't seen this movie, watch it. It has helped me and I hope a ton of other guys and girls out there who have been in this situation.
If you have been bullied or cyberbullied stand up for who you are. You are someone! You should be treated with respect. Just like everyone else in this world, you are a human being. Doesn't matter whether you look exactly like everyone else or dress exactly the same. You are someone! Someone who deserves to be treated right.

Cyber-bullying from my experience....

I have been there, on the other side of the screen, humiliated by another, and hurt from the inside out. As a victim of cyber-bullying, I have learned that no matter what bullies say, it's up to you onhow well you deal with the situation.
After the first time I realized that it wasn't my fault it happened at all. It was their own doing. I had thought maybe I had done something which may have gotten me into this mess or maybe i just wasn't someone's favorite person.
After the second time it just wasn't worth it to care. I may have struggled with my self-esteem and walked with my head down in the school hallways, but even though that was who I was for that short period of time, I still had a chance to change who i was. So I gave myself a motto.
"You know I may look fat to you, but to God I am beautiful and perfect in my own way. You may say hurtful, deceiving words that may make my heart ache and tears fall from my eyes, but I am strong and I will make it through my life and make something big out of myself."
I know that God is there to comfort us in our times of need. No matter how big or small the situation is. I have learned so much about myself after all i have been through. And I have been able to choose who I want to become in my life. This has helped me to know who I am and hold my head up high when I walk.
I know now that this was something that was meant to happen to me to learn to treat myself with respect and help gain respect from others.